Dogbert s Top Secret Management Handbook

Are these methods taught in business schools? Do managers learn by watching more experienced managers? Is it the result of mentoring? None of the above! Every manager follows the doctrine set out in Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook.

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Boxtree, Limited

ISBN: 075221148X

Category: Business

Page: 176

View: 712

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Why do all modern managers do the same bizarre things? Are these methods taught in business schools? Do managers learn by watching more experienced managers? Is it the result of mentoring? None of the above! Every manager follows the doctrine set out in Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook. Here you can learn about: Pretending to care -- how to hear without listening! Making decisions -- be a leader without making any! Empty promises of promotion -- enjoy all the motivational benefits with none of the costs! An essential management bible for new managers, teaching them how to transform themselves from bitter and bewildered 'little people' into fully functioning, paradigm-spewing management zombies!
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Dogbert s Top Secret Management Handbook

Dogbert, the cartoon sidekick of Dilbert, presents his Machiavellian view of the workplace by illustrating the pitfalls of common management mistakes, such as raises and good communication

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Firefly Books

ISBN: 0887308813

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 192

View: 319

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Dogbert, the cartoon sidekick of Dilbert, presents his Machiavellian view of the workplace by illustrating the pitfalls of common management mistakes, such as raises and good communication
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The Dilbert Future

In The Dilbert Principle and Dogbert′s Top Secret Management Handbook, Scott Adams skewered the absurdities of the corporate world.

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 9780887309106

Category: Humor

Page: 288

View: 490

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Step aside, Bill Gates! Here comes today′s real technology guru and his totally original, laugh-out-loud New York Times bestseller that looks at the approaching new millennium and boldly predicts: more stupidity ahead. In The Dilbert Principle and Dogbert′s Top Secret Management Handbook, Scott Adams skewered the absurdities of the corporate world. Now he takes the next logical step, turning his keen analytical focus on how human greed, stupidity and horniness will shape the future. Featuring the same irresistible amalgam of essays and cartoons that made Adams previous works so singularly entertaining, this uproariously funny, dead-on-target tome offers half-truthful, half-farcical predictions that push all of today′s hot buttons - from business and technology to society and government. Children - they are our future, so we′re pretty much hosed. Tip: Grab what you can while they′re still too little to stop us. Human Potential - we′ll finally learn to use the 90 percent of the brain we don′t use today, and find out that there wasn′t anything in that part. Computers - Technology and homeliness will combine to form a powerful type of birth control. In The Dilbert Principle and Dogbert′s Top Secret Management Handbook, Scott Adams skewered the absurdities of the corporate world. Now he takes the next logical step, turning his keen analytical focus on how human greed, stupidity and horniness will shape the future. Featuring the same irresistible amalgam of essays and cartoons that made Adams previous works so singularly entertaining, this uproariously
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Stick to Drawing Comics Monkey Brain

Adams ventures into uncharted territory in this collection of more than 150 short pieces on everything from lunar real estate to serial killers, not to mention politics, religion, dating, underwear, alien life, and the menace of car singing ...

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 9781101216507

Category: Humor

Page: 400

View: 137

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Everyone knows Scott Adams, the creator of Dilbert, as the king of workplace humor. His insights into the crazy world of business have long been on display in his hugely popular comic strip and bestselling books like The Dilbert Principle. But there's much more to life than work, and it turns out that the man behind Dogbert and the Pointy-Haired Boss has an equally outrageous take on life outside the cubicle. Adams ventures into uncharted territory in this collection of more than 150 short pieces on everything from lunar real estate to serial killers, not to mention politics, religion, dating, underwear, alien life, and the menace of car singing. He isn't afraid to confront the most pressing questions of our day, such as the pros and cons of toothpaste smuggling, why kangaroos don't drive cars, and whether Jesus would approve of your second iPod.
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Loserthink

Your bubble of reality doesn't have to be a prison. This book will show you how to break free--and, what's more, to be among the most perceptive and respected thinkers in every conversation.

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 9780593083536

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 256

View: 769

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From the creator of Dilbert and author of Win Bigly, a guide to spotting and avoiding loserthink: sneaky mental habits trapping victims in their own bubbles of reality. If you've been on social media lately, or turned on your TV, you may have noticed a lot of dumb ideas floating around. "We know when history will repeat and when it won't." "We can tell the difference between evidence and coincidences." "The simplest explanation is usually true." Wrong, wrong, and dangerous! If we're not careful, loserthink would have us believe that every Trump supporter is a bigoted racist, addicts should be responsible for fixing the opioid epidemic, and that your relationship fell apart simply because you chewed with your mouth open. Even the smartest people can slip into loserthink's seductive grasp. This book will teach you how to spot and avoid it--and will give you scripts to respond when hollow arguments are being brandished against you, whether by well-intentioned friends, strangers on the internet, or political pundits. You'll also learn how to spot the underlying causes of loserthink, like the inability to get ego out of your decisions, thinking with words instead of reasons, failing to imagine alternative explanations, and making too much of coincidences. Your bubble of reality doesn't have to be a prison. This book will show you how to break free--and, what's more, to be among the most perceptive and respected thinkers in every conversation.
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Random Acts of Management

Another hilarious book of cartoons about the ultimate office worker, Dilbert, who struggles to navigate the constant tribulations of absurd company policies and idiot management strategies.

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Boxtree, Limited

ISBN: 0752271741

Category: American wit and humor, Pictorial

Page: 128

View: 752

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Another hilarious book of cartoons about the ultimate office worker, Dilbert, who struggles to navigate the constant tribulations of absurd company policies and idiot management strategies.
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Win Bigly

This revised edition features a bonus chapter that assesses just how well Adams foresaw the outcomes of Trump’s tactics with North Korea, the NFL protesters, Congress, and more.

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 9780735219724

Category: Psychology

Page: 304

View: 464

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"If you watched the entire election cycle and concluded that Trump was nothing but a lucky clown, you missed one of the most important perceptual shifts in the history of humankind. I'll fix that for you in this book." Adams was one of the earliest public figures to predict Trump’s win, doing so a week after Nate Silver put Trump’s odds at 2 percent in his FiveThirtyEight.com blog. The mainstream media regarded Trump as a novelty and a sideshow. But Adams recognized in Trump a level of persuasion you only see once in a generation. Trump triggered massive cognitive dissonance and confirmation bias on both the left and the right. We’re hardwired to respond to emotion, not reason. We might listen to 10 percent of a speech—a hand gesture here, a phrase there—and if the right buttons are pushed, we decide we agree with the speaker and invent reasons to justify that decision after the fact. The point isn’t whether Trump was right or wrong, good or bad. Win Bigly goes beyond politics to look at persuasion tools that can work in any setting—the same ones Adams saw in Steve Jobs when he invested in Apple decades ago. For instance: · If you need to convince people that something is important, make a claim that’s directionally accurate but has a big exaggeration in it. Everyone will spend endless hours talking about how wrong it is and will remember the issue as high priority. · Stop wasting time on elaborate presentation preparations. Inside, you’ll learn which components of your messaging matter, and where you can wing it. · Planting simple, sticky ideas (such as “Crooked Hillary”) is more powerful than stating facts. Just find a phrase without previous baggage that grabs your audience at an emotional level. Adams offers nothing less than “access to the admin passwords to human beings.” This is a must read if you care about persuading others in any field—or if you just want to resist the tactics of emotional persuasion when they’re used on you.
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Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel

And they are also weasels.' Just ask anyone who worked at Enron. In this book, Adams takes a look into the Weasel Zone, the giant grey area between good moral behaviour and outright felonious activities.

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 006052149X

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 368

View: 853

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Back after a four–year hiatus, New York Times bestselling author Scott Adams presents an outrageous look at work, home and everyday life in his new book, Dilbert and the Way of the Weasel. Building on Dilbert's theory that 'All people are idiots', Adams now says, 'All people are idiots. And they are also weasels.' Just ask anyone who worked at Enron. In this book, Adams takes a look into the Weasel Zone, the giant grey area between good moral behaviour and outright felonious activities. In the Weasel Zone, where most people reside, everything is misleading, but not exactly a lie. Building on his popular comic strip, Adams looks into work, home and everyday life and exposes the way of the weasel for everyone to see. With appearances from all the regular comic strip characters, Adams and Dilbert are at the top of their game – master satirists who expose the truth while making us laugh our heads off.
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Build a Better Life by Stealing Office Supplies

Anyone who ever toiled in the office "environment" will identify with the ironclad axioms put forth by Dogbert in this collection of office wisdom.

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher:

ISBN: 5559305952

Category:

Page:

View: 844

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Anyone who ever toiled in the office "environment" will identify with the ironclad axioms put forth by Dogbert in this collection of office wisdom. So, move over Murphy's Law, and forget about the One-Minute Manger--Dogbert is taking the business-book business by storm. Dogbert appears in the nationally syndicated comic strip Dilbert. Illustrated.
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Don t Stand Where the Comet Is

In the 23rd collection of Scott Adams" tremendously popular series, Don"t Stand Where the Comet Is Assumed to Strike Oil, suppressed and repressed workers everywhere can follow the latest developments in the so-called careers of Dilbert, ...

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher:

ISBN: 5558804963

Category:

Page:

View: 527

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Why is Dilbert such a phenomenon' People see their own dreary, monotonous lives brought to comedic life in the ubiquitous strip. In the 23rd collection of Scott Adams" tremendously popular series, Don"t Stand Where the Comet Is Assumed to Strike Oil, suppressed and repressed workers everywhere can follow the latest developments in the so-called careers of Dilbert, power-hungry Dogbert, Catbert, Ratbert, the pointy-haired boss, and other supporting"but don"t you dare call them supportive"characters. Each "funny because it"s true" scenario bears an uncanny, hysterical, sometimes uncomfortable similarity to cubicle-filled corporate America. But the United States clearly hasn"t cornered the market when it comes to drone-filled offices: Dilbert appears in 65 countries in 25 languages and in 2,000 newspapers. The strip has 150 million fans worldwide.
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The Dilbert Principle

Lavishly illustrated with Dilbert strips, these hilarious essays on incompetent bosses, management fads, bewildering technological changes and so much more, will make anyone who has ever worked in an office laugh out loud in recognition.

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 9780887308581

Category: Humor

Page: 352

View: 611

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The creator of Dilbert, the fastest-growing comic strip in the nation (syndicated in nearly 1000 newspapers), takes a look at corporate America in all its glorious lunacy. Lavishly illustrated with Dilbert strips, these hilarious essays on incompetent bosses, management fads, bewildering technological changes and so much more, will make anyone who has ever worked in an office laugh out loud in recognition. The Dilbert Principle: The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage — management. Since 1989, Scott Adams has been illustrating this principle each day, lampooning the corporate world through Dilbert, his enormously popular comic strip. In Dilbert, the potato-shaped, abuse-absorbing hero of the strip, Adams has given voice to the millions of Americans buffeted by the many adversities of the workplace. Now he takes the next step, attacking corporate culture head-on in this lighthearted series of essays. Packed with more than 100 hilarious cartoons, these 25 chapters explore the zeitgeist of ever-changing management trends, overbearing egos, management incompetence, bottomless bureaucracies, petrifying performance reviews, three-hour meetings, the confusion of the information superhighway and more. With sharp eyes, and an even sharper wit, Adams exposes -- and skewers -- the bizarre absurdities of everyday corporate life. Readers will be convinced that he must be spying on their bosses, The Dilbert Principle rings so true!
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Handbook of Decision Analysis

—Napoleon, “Maxims,” 1804 Nothing good ever came froma management
decision.Avoid making decisions whenever possible. They can only get you in
trouble. —Dogbert, Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook, 1996 2.1
Introduction ...

Author: Gregory S. Parnell

Publisher: John Wiley & Sons

ISBN: 9781118515846

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 432

View: 185

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A ONE-OF-A-KIND GUIDE TO THE BEST PRACTICES IN DECISION ANALYSIS Decision analysis provides powerful tools for addressing complex decisions that involve uncertainty and multiple objectives, yet most training materials on the subject overlook the soft skills that are essential for success in the field. This unique resource fills this gap in the decision analysis literature and features both soft personal/interpersonal skills and the hard technical skills involving mathematics and modeling. Readers will learn how to identify and overcome the numerous challenges of decision making, choose the appropriate decision process, lead and manage teams, and create value for their organization. Performing modeling analysis, assessing risk, and implementing decisions are also addressed throughout. Additional features include: Key insights gleaned from decision analysis applications and behavioral decision analysis research Integrated coverage of the techniques of single- and multiple-objective decision analysis Multiple qualitative and quantitative techniques presented for each key decision analysis task Three substantive real-world case studies illustrating diverse strategies for dealing with the challenges of decision making Extensive references for mathematical proofs and advanced topics The Handbook of Decision Analysis is an essential reference for academics and practitioners in various fields including business, operations research, engineering, and science. The book also serves as a supplement for courses at the upper-undergraduate and graduate levels.
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Popular Stories and Promised Lands

... e-mail correspondents to provide the context for the humor in Dilbert—and he
has turned those experiences into something of a 12-step program with the
publication of The Dilbert Principle and Dogbert's Top Secret Management
Handbook ...

Author: Roger C. Aden

Publisher: University of Alabama Press

ISBN: 9780817354725

Category: History

Page: 304

View: 123

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Popular Stories and Promised Lands enters a conversation about who we are, where we've been, and where we might be going by suggesting that possible answers to those questions can be found in the popular stories we encounter at the movies, on television, in popular magazines, and even on the funny pages. As countless scholars and popular writers have noted, those of us living in the United States find ourselves at a cultural crossroads. We are increasingly aware that the stories that once permeated life in these United States, stories that tell us that social and economic progress comes from working hard, that everyone has an equal opportunity to experience such progress, do not resonate to the degree they once did. Because many Americans have traditionally defined themselves, others, and their unique sense of place through these stories, we find ourselves displaced socially, economically, politically, and/or culturally. So, Roger Aden says, we go to places of our own making. Fans of the television series The X-Files return to the Funhouse each week for a dose of frightening fun. Fans of the weekly magazine Sports Illustrated play in the American Elysian Fields where democratic efforts at balancing work and play are valued. Fans of the movie Field of Dreams work as altruistic producers in an alternative garden spot. Grounded in the author's own experiences and reinforced by the voices of approximately two hundred additional fans of the four popular stories, this book offers a compelling case for understanding the alleged wasteland of popular culture as a fertile site of individually and communally created sacred places.
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PC Mag

A recent happy exception was a prepublication copy of Scott Adams' upcoming
Dilbert book, Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook; Dilber1's latest
tribulations and the outrages of his I. canine companion, Dogbert, the
management ...

Author:

Publisher:

ISBN:

Category:

Page: 406

View: 299

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PCMag.com is a leading authority on technology, delivering Labs-based, independent reviews of the latest products and services. Our expert industry analysis and practical solutions help you make better buying decisions and get more from technology.
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The Joy of Work

Offers a guide to finding creativity, success, and joy in a corporate milieu that often seems actively antithetical to these concepts

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Harper Collins

ISBN: 0887308953

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 280

View: 327

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Offers a guide to finding creativity, success, and joy in a corporate milieu that often seems actively antithetical to these concepts
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Comprehensive Handbook of Social Work and Social Welfare Human Behavior in the Social Environment

In social work, the human service organization is a very common, if not the most
common, type. ... And there is a lot of bad, as Scott Adams (1996a, 1996b) points
out in The Dilbert Principle. and Dogbert's Top Secret Management Handbook.

Author:

Publisher: John Wiley & Sons

ISBN: 047022259X

Category: Social Science

Page: 600

View: 324

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Comprehensive Handbook of Social Work and Social Welfare, Volume 2: The Profession of Social Work features contributions from leading international researchers and practitioners and presents the most comprehensive, in-depth source of information on the field of social work and social welfare.
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How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big

In How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big, Adams shares the game plan he’s followed since he was a teen: invite failure in, embrace it, then pick its pocket. No career guide can offer advice that works for everyone.

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Penguin

ISBN: 9780698144620

Category: Business & Economics

Page: 256

View: 859

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Blasting clichéd career advice, the contrarian pundit and creator of Dilbert recounts the humorous ups and downs of his career, revealing the outsized role of luck in our lives and how best to play the system. Scott Adams has likely failed at more things than anyone you’ve ever met or anyone you’ve even heard of. So how did he go from hapless office worker and serial failure to the creator of Dilbert, one of the world’s most famous syndicated comic strips, in just a few years? In How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big, Adams shares the game plan he’s followed since he was a teen: invite failure in, embrace it, then pick its pocket. No career guide can offer advice that works for everyone. As Adams explains, your best bet is to study the ways of others who made it big and try to glean some tricks and strategies that make sense for you. Adams pulls back the covers on his own unusual life and shares how he turned one failure after another—including his corporate career, his inventions, his investments, and his two restaurants—into something good and lasting. There’s a lot to learn from his personal story, and a lot of entertainment along the way. Adams discovered some unlikely truths that helped to propel him forward. For instance: • Goals are for losers. Systems are for winners. • “Passion” is bull. What you need is personal energy. • A combination of mediocre skills can make you surprisingly valuable. • You can manage your odds in a way that makes you look lucky to others. Adams hopes you can laugh at his failures while discovering some unique and helpful ideas on your own path to personal victory. As he writes: “This is a story of one person’s unlikely success within the context of scores of embarrassing failures. Was my eventual success primarily a result of talent, luck, hard work, or an accidental just-right balance of each? All I know for sure is that I pursued a conscious strategy of managing my opportunities in a way that would make it easier for luck to find me.”
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Excuse Me While I Wag

This 17th Dilbert collection offers yet another glimpse into the zany office life of Dilbert and crew. "After ten years of syndication, "Dilbert" is universally recognized as the definitive source of office humor".--"Collectors' Showcase".

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher:

ISBN: 5559503738

Category:

Page:

View: 570

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This 17th Dilbert collection offers yet another glimpse into the zany office life of Dilbert and crew. "After ten years of syndication, "Dilbert" is universally recognized as the definitive source of office humor".--"Collectors' Showcase".
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God s Debris

OTHER BOOKS BY SCOTT ADAMS The Dilbert Principle Dogbert ' s Top Secret
Management Handbook The Dilbert Future The Joy of Work DILBERT CARTOON
BOOKS BY SCOTT ADAMS When Did Ignorance Become a Point of View ?

Author: Scott Adams

Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing

ISBN: 0740747878

Category: Fiction

Page: 132

View: 302

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In God's Debris, best-selling author and creator of Dilbert Scott Adams fashioned a thought-provoking exploration of life's great mysteries (everything from quantum physics and God to psychic phenomena and dating) that quickly captured the attention and imaginations of readers everywhere. The intriguing story of a deliveryman who meets the world's smartest person and learns the secret of reality is threaded with a variety of hypnosis techniques that Adams, a certified hypnotist, used to induce a feeling of euphoric enlightenment in readers to mirror the main character's feelings as he discovers the true nature of the universe.Launched to coincide with the hardcover publication of its sequel, The Religion War (see opposite page), this first paperback edition of God's Debris will soon make the leap to a broader audience. As Adams designed it, the book will "make your brain spin around inside your skull" and drive readers toward The Religion War as they seek to confirm or deny the dizzying impressions and chaotic memories of reading God's Debris.The book provides one of the most compelling visions of reality ever experienced on the printed page. Along the way, readers will enjoy the Thought Experiment: Trying to discover what's wrong with the sage's explanation of reality. This is a book, as Adams says, to be shared and savored with smart friends.
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A Short History of Rudeness

“Theterms team memberand associate,” Dogbert advises inDogbert's Top Secret
Management Handbook, “should beused insteadof thediminutive termspudand
loser, respectively. The new terms sacrifice nothing in accuracy.”24 This isn't ...

Author: Mark Caldwell

Publisher: Picador

ISBN: 9781466889644

Category: Reference

Page: 288

View: 835

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A funny and provocative cultural history of class, manners, and the decline of civility In his smart and thought provoking new book, literary/social critic Mark Caldwell gives us a history of the demise of manners and charts the progress of an epidemic of rudeness in America. The breakdown of civility has in recent years become a national obsession, and our modern climate of boorishness has cultivated a host of etiquette watchdogs, like Miss Manners and Martha Stewart, with which we defend ourselves against an onslaught of nastiness. But Caldwell demonstrates that the foundations of etiquette actually began to corrode several centuries ago with the blurring of class lines. Touching on aspects of both our public and private lives, including work, family, and sex, A Short History of Rudeness examines how the rules of our behaviour have changed and explains why, no matter how hard we try, we can never return to a golden era of manners and mores.
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